100 Days

First of all I’d like to say that this might end up being an extremely long post, considering the fact that I started working on it November 1st, but anyway… 

I’m writing in English because I find myself feeling rather uncomfortable writing in German at this point, it confuses my to try and actually write a decent post in German, therefore I apologize if you’d rather have me writing in German, which I’ll probably continue doing, just not in posts that are supposed to be kind of upper-level-language…I mean, I try. Now, to the actual post — wait, no, I wanted to say that I can’t tell whether I dream in English or German, I just don’t know. NOW, to the post:

100 days ago I was on my way to New York. I wasn’t even that excited, expecting the Youth Hostel to be crappy and gross. But when I arrived, and found out how to work the shower, I started changing my mind. Standing on top of the rock, Manhattan in front of me, the wind blowing, the sun shining, taking Instagram-worthy photos with people I hadn’t known before, but in the blink of an eye became good friends was incredible. I still have no idea what made me do all of this, but I have a feeling it was the right thing to do. I can only speak for the first 3 months of this year, but that’s almost 1/3 of the 10 months I’m here, which is kind of a lot, but then again not at all. I had good times so far, just like I had bad times. I am nowhere near being able to say: „I know who I am now and I can give everyone advice about their lives“ — I can’t say that, and I won’t. But what I can say is, that it sure as hell (I hope you don’t mind me cursing a bit) has been an experience so far. Some exchange students are all like: „Omg America is amazing, I never want to go back, I want to stay here forever“, which I, to a certain degree, feel, too, but I learned to love my German hometown. 

I am a ‚Hamburger Deern’, born and raised, and I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about my city (oops, and watery eyes, too, I guess). The public transportation system, the smell of the harbor, the freedom young adults have in Germany, again, the public transportation system, meaning you don’t have to rely on anyone if you want to go somewhere, the Alster with its beautiful Christmas Tree and water fountain, that I never really appreciated as much as I should have. I came here, convinced Germany is a depressing, cold place, which can be true (November-March), but also stupid and that everything we have in Germany would be better in America. I mean some things really are better in America, like the accessibility of Victoria’s Secret Stores and Targets, but think about school. Yes, it is awesome to have sport teams and school spirit, but in the Duval County in Florida (can’t speak for the other counties), the only silverware allowed in schools is plastic „sporks“, a spoon-fork. Cause you could stab someone with a plastic knife. In Germany, in contrary, they basically had you metal knives. And forks. Also, you can go off campus. You just have so much more freedom being a teenager in Germany/Europe. It’s funny, because in Europe, everyone is fascinated with the US, but in the US, everybody’s fascinated with Europe. I kind of developed a German/European pride, something I hadn’t had before. 

Something else I started appreciating is soccer. It’s all about American Football here, but to be honest, soccer is more interesting. American Football has interruptions every 2 minutes. Soccer has one interruption in 90 minutes. Just saying. 

I can’t say that I found out who I am. Not yet, at least. But I guess that’ll come, eventually. I just can’t talk about that self-finding stuff yet. I have found out more about myself, that is true, and I guess that indicates that I’m in the process. I found out that the grass may always seem greener on the other side, but it’s not. It’s different, yes, but it has just as many good qualities as the grass on your own side does. 

One thing I wanted to say is, that America is more isolated than you might think. The TV News are biased, and are generally not that much about other countries, whereas in Europe I used to always know what was going on in the world. So what I did is download the Tagesschau App. That America is so isolated also impacts their school schedules. They learn one foreign language, usually starting in grade 9. But then again, they don’t need other languages, it’s America and then Canada, and that’s basically the entire continent. What would they need other languages for? In Europe you drive 3 hours and bam — you’re in a different country. To make a long story short, America is very isolated, so some, not as educated Americans have weird ideas of European countries. Again, just saying.

They say there are 4 phases of an exchange. The first phase is when you arrive, everything’s new, everything’s awesome, but after a while, maybe like 2 months, things start being normal, being everyday life, being less interesting. You start seeing the stupid things that annoy you and think about how stupid this country can be. I entered that phase about a month ago, and I’m not sure if I’m out of it yet. The phase after that is supposed to be the actual adapting phase, where you start loving where you are, and then the fourth phase, when it’s time to go home and you’re happy, but also really sad…and I guess that phase also includes the part where you’re back home and might miss America.

As for now, I have definitely been in 2 of the 4 phases. And I’m looking forward to telling you about the next phases.

The other day, I said „y’all“ which is, like, the most southern thing you could say. I don’t even like that word (it’s like „you guys“), but I just said it. I guess I’ll have to embrace it. 

This week, I’ve had my first 2 actual cheerleading practices and I love it. I love the other team members, I love doing the cheers, I just really like cheerleading. It is kind of hard to memorize all of the cheers, I’m doing alright, but I’ve already forgotten sone from today’s practice, it’s pretty intense to learn 10 cheers in 2 hours…

I can’t believe that almost 1/3 of my time here is over. And if somebody asked me the question: would you be happy to go home now, I’d say no. I am very much looking forward to coming back home, but I love it here and I have not done enough. I haven’t had enough experiences, American experiences yet. I haven’t lived through enough to be able to call this a year abroad. I have no idea what will come, but I hope it’ll be great. I hope that, when I look back at my year once I’m back in Germany, I can say that I’ve used the year to its fullest and could not think of anything that I wish I had done but haven’t. Except for minor things, maybe, but I do want to make the most out of this one year, these 10 months. I am looking forward to what’s next, and I will most definitely keep posting on this blog. 

xoxo 

India